Musing with my good friend, Shana Ting Lipton, on the interesting journey towards finding a soulmate in the modern world recently, I turned back to the age-old metaphor of life as a game. Viewing the whole thing as some universal poker match, Shana and I wondered if it was possible to maximize your chips by playing strategically. In other words, by avoiding playing your chips on possibly bad hands, could you rack up enough chips to cash them in for the big prize at the end? And how many "soulmate" chips could you earn for each wise move of folding at the first signs of commitment issues, emotional weakness, or disrespect, rather than riding it out on the gamble that you might be dealt a better card later in the game and he'd throw himself into a relationship, grow a backbone, or treat you like an equal?

The question is, should we pat ourselves on the back for sitting out a round, holding on to our chips, and learning to play the game better, or should we throw caution to the wind and play a dubious hand, for the fun of the game, at the risk of losing all our chips and mortgaging our hearts? Having tried the second route, I'm a little more careful with my chips now, but the question remains. And only time knows the answer.

 

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