Life is so amusing. I cannot make this shit up. I was in the supermarket today, and I have a real issue with waste. So, as usual, I said to the bagger, “Try to fit it all in one bag. You can really fill it up.” The bagger, in this case a jolly, Apple-pie granny type, maybe late 60's, answered me, as God is my witness, sweetly and naively: “Oh, I can fill you up, if that’s what you want, honey. I can fill you up real good.” Granny! My poor virgin ears reeling, I caught the checker’s eye, prepared to play it off, but he was already shaking. And then the whole line was laughing. “What’s so funny?” said wide-eyed innocent bagger-Granny, looking at me questioningly. Der, er, um...I started to giggle nervously, and shrugged, then beat a retreat, filled... (cue 70's porn music: wocka wocka chicka bow bow) ...with embarrassment. Oh, Granny.

Hey, don’t look at me. Granny said it.

 

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