I’m laying low on this, my birthday (happy birthday, me!) after a full and delightful weekend in which I learned that 1. The medical term for a “fold” of fat is
pannus. 2. Some people swim ocean-swims bare-ass
nekid. Look out,
Alex Trebek, I'm on my way.
I went to see my friend Mike swim the Alcatraz
swim on Saturday morning in San Francisco with his buddy Jim. The two “
rock” stars celebrated their successful crossing with a BBQ at Mike’s place in the
Russian River area, where I learned the above two facts. I am always gathering interesting and rather disturbing stories at barbeques, it seems (see “
Totally OK” entry).
One of Mike’s friends, Terry, is a doctor, who shared a story from her residency involving an obese woman. When examining her, Terry discovered an old half-eaten sandwich beneath a fold of stomach fat (see “pannus”, above). She swears that this is true. Not only did she find a stinky old sandwich under said pannus, but not wanting to humiliate the woman, she actually left it there. Er...First, do no
ham?
I have to say that this story sparked my interest, because it smacked of
urban legend, and I am somewhat of an urban legend connoisseur. But the teller of this tale appears to be completely reliable and earnest. I had it straight from the horses mouth, not the ole' FOAF (friend of a friend) common in urban folklore. I suspect that many urban legends are based in real incidents that simply grow like a game of
telephone, embellishing real stories. Sure enough, I located a
story involving all kinds of missing objects, including a remote control, in panni (?) on my favorite UL
site. Perhaps Terry should contact Snopes and add her anecdote to aid the researchers in their determining the feasibility (it’s categorized as “undetermined”) of this particular legend.
It's not the first time I have heard an actual firsthand account of a supposed urban legend. I’m reminded of another incident in which my cousin’s wife told me how she returned from Africa with a boil on her neck, which she covered with a band-aid. It would not heal, and conversely, seemed to get worse with each passing day. One morning, she woke up, and found that the boil had ruptured. On her pillow was a squirming worm surrounded by blood. Ick. But this too, jingled the keys of the memory bank, and after confirming the story’s validity with her, I urged my cousins wife to write a sternly worded letter to Snopes for dismissing this urban
legend as bogus, which she swears on her grave is true in her case.
As for bare-ass nekid people swimming ocean-swims, there’s no urban legend attached to that, unfortunately. Not yet, at least. Introduce a strategically placed
jellyfish to the tale and then we’re in business. Ah, life. Stranger than fiction. Ya gotta love it.
In that vein, as I round out another year, enjoy this classic
birthday urban legend!
