Those of you active in the blogosphere have become aware of the opportunity to
pimp your blogs out to Google, earning a few coins per click on the ads placed there (I, not having located a permanent host yet, earn bupkis while
Godaddy pimps my blog out). The ads, you may have noticed, pick up on certain keywords within the text on the page. It is thus with some chagrin that I have bitched about certain conservatives here and endured the humiliation of seeing Satan's executive secretary Ann
Coulter's book being shopped on my proudly liberal blog.
I joked about this Google phenomenon with my friend Neal Pollack, the proprietor of a
blog which mainly revolves around his son, Elijah, and as a result, features a lot of ads for Elijah
Wood gossip. As Neal and I discussed this on
G-Mail, which is owned by Google, I noted the creepy way the ads seemed to be keeping up with our virtual conversation in a Big Brotherish manner. Well, when the world hands you lemons, you make lemonade. And when the world hands you Google ads, you follow the Beat Poets' lead and make "
cut-up poetry". Let me present you with what may be the first ever "Google-ad cut-up poems" (though, in researching links, I was disappointed to learn that
spam poetry, or "spoetry", already exists...I admit, this comes rather close. Nothing new under the sun, I guess). The only rule is that the lines must come from the same webpage and be
actual lines from Google ads featured thereon, but may be rearranged
and combined in any manner. The "poet" may create their own appropriate title. Without further ado:
"Down South" (by Mieke)
Oprah has spoken
Fish trading and news
More about...
Fried fish
Like grandma used to make.
***
"A Night With Pollack" (by Neal)
The Scientific evidence is
Vast.
This may change your view of
Pork.
***
"One Night With Mieke" (for Jon Stewart, by Mieke)
As seen on Oprah & 60 Minutes
The scientific evidence is vast,
Amazing Chinese fat-loss secret.
***
And so, readers, this is a call for submissions. Please, send me your Google-ad poems, and I will post them here. You may use this site as a jumping-off point, as it is littered with ads.
